Talking with children about racialized violence: Tips & guidance from Star behavioral health and DEI experts

Starfish Blog: Maxwell House masterpieces!

February 25, 2020 by Starfish Family Services

Our Starfish Early Education educators come up with the most innovative projects that you can easily tackle from home with your own children. This week’s “craft-ivity” is creating tie-dye art using . . . coffee filters.

Materials (all found at your local “dollar store” or in your own home):

Basic white coffee filters
Bingo stampers in multiple colors
Newspaper or paper/fabric layers to protect your table

Instructions:

Take a coffee filter and fold it in half.

Fold your coffee filter in quarters.

Daub your favorite colors using your Bingo stamper

Unfold and reveal! The ink dries fairly fast.

Check out these masterpieces made by Starfish kiddos!

A Note from our CEO, Roxanne Brinkerhoff: Tragedy at Michigan State University

February 14, 2023 by Starfish Family Services

February 14, 2023: Heartbreak for families & our communities – Time to support one another.

Dear Starfish Family,

Today – Valentine’s Day – is usually about sharing love and kindness. Yet today my heart is broken rather than celebrating. Yesterday, a shooting at Michigan State University took the lives of three people and left five people injured. This awful and jarring event being so close to home means that we may know someone who was directly impacted or see that there is greater impact to those around us. I also know that MSU is place so many in our broader Starfish family have powerful connections and memories.

This is a horrific tragedy for every family, young person, child, or member of the campus community that has been impacted. Our condolences go out to families and friends who are navigating the unimaginable.

Our children – all ages – should not have to live in fear when they go to school or off to college. Any space of learning and exploration should be safe and welcoming. With anguish, there is recognition that that we live in complex times where safety is not a given in any location. This is also a reminder to do all that you can to always be aware of your safety and surroundings. Take steps of precaution to secure your physical spaces, have an plan, and ensure you are in communication with family and friends. It is not possible to prevent all incidents from those who seek to do harm. Yet, as these incidents string closer and closer together and creep into the most sacred of spaces in our communities, we must work together to protect children and families, and one another.

Please give yourself some grace and compassion in the coming days as you may feel fear or anxiety. Here is a link to a helpful handbook from The National Child Trauma Stress Network. Also remember that anybody in crisis, or supporting someone in crisis, can call 9-8-8 from their phone to connect with mental health supports 24/7. Help is also online at: http://988lifeline.org.

Please be well and safe and thank you for your continued partnership with Starfish Family Services.

With care and gratitude,

Talking to children about racialized violence: Tips & Support from Starfish behavioral health and DEI experts

February 2, 2023 by Starfish Family Services

Racialized violence can be scary and confusing for kids. The recent murder of Tyre Nichols and following media coverage and exposure may have the children in your life asking questions or feeling powerful emotions. As caregivers it’s important for us to talk with our children to help them process their feelings and what happened, but how can we do that if we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable ourselves? Check out some helpful tips to help you feel prepared and in control of your emotions when talking with kids about racialized violence.

Starfish announces selection of next CEO!

November 22, 2022 by Starfish Family Services

We are so honored to announce the next CEO of Starfish Family Services! Following a national search, unanimous approval from the search committee, and enthusiastic support from the Board of Directors – Roxanne Brinkerhoff has been named the incoming Chief Executive Officer. She will begin her role on January 17, 2023.

For more than 20 years, Brinkerhoff has brought significant leadership to children-focused nonprofits. Roxanne is the out-going CEO of Detroit Institute for Children and a past executive at The Guidance Center, a strong and collaborative partner to Starfish. Brinkerhoff considers outgoing Starfish CEO, Ann Kalass, a mentor and the two have worked in partnership in the community for more than a decade.

“I am incredibly honored to welcome Roxanne to the CEO role at Starfish,” Kalass shared. “I have witnessed Roxanne to be an unrelenting advocate for families, community, and innovation. She has a powerful determination, and I have no doubt that her expertise and vision will carry Starfish into an incredible new chapter.” 

A graduate of the University of Michigan and Leadership Detroit XXXVII, Brinkerhoff is a member and past vice president of Great Start Collaborative-Wayne. She is a proven asset to children and families who are navigating labels and social barriers, whether gender, special educational pathways, mental health needs, or neurodiversity.  

“I am so excited and honored to join the Starfish team and come home to the work I love the most,” Brinkerhoff continued. “I have been fortunate to focus on children and families through my entire career, and early childhood education and behavioral health are the center of my passion and expertise.”

Brinkerhoff called Starfish a national model for children-focused nonprofits, with a dedicated and dynamic staff. 

“Starfish is excited to welcome Roxanne to the CEO role and our full community,” said Board Chair Carla Burney Jones. “She brings unmatched experience in our program areas and has an obvious and inspiring commitment to mission and a vibrant future both for Starfish and the children and families of Southeast Michigan. We feel very fortunate to hire someone with such meaningful expertise and who is already deeply respected in the community for her impact.” 

Current Chief Program Officer and Starfish employee for more than 20 years, Marisa Nicely, reflected, “When I recently learned of Roxanne’s hire – I was immediately excited about working together and her arrival to the Starfish team! Roxanne and I have worked together in the community for a long time. She is an inspiring leader and has been a force in our movements for years and years. Her kindness and empathy make her a stand-out. She puts the Starfish values of integrity, equity, and teamwork into action every day.”

“This is an incredible opportunity to build on decades of accomplishments and trust and ensure that inclusion and equity are woven into the fabric of our daily action and long-term planning,” Brinkerhoff said. “I have been inspired by the dedication of everyone I interacted with and cannot wait to get started.” 

For Brinkerhoff, this role is also deeply personal as a former Head Start parent herself.  

“I know first-hand how amazing Head Start is and how the program helps families through the day-to-day challenges while also helping to build hope and strength for tomorrow. Our Head Start teacher was an angel in our lives,” Brinkerhoff reflected. 

Brinkerhoff is incredibly proud of her two young adult children who are a Division 1 pitcher and engineering student – and – an aviation-focused professional, respectively. Roxanne’s husband is a long-term educator in the Wayne Westland Community Schools District, another partner entity to Starfish in Wayne County.

Starfish is working on a variety of virtual and in-person Meet & Greet opportunities starting in the new year. We cannot wait for you to meet her!

With excitement and gratitude,

Carla Burney Jones – Board Chair

Howard Morris – Most recent past Board Chair and CEO Search Committee Chair

Click here to read announcement article from Crain’s Detroit Business: https://www.starfishfamilyservices.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Starfish-names-Roxanne-Brinkerhoff-as-its-next-CEO-_-Crains-Detroit-Business-1.pdf

Juneteenth, Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, Emancipation Day

June 16, 2022 by Starfish Family Services

**On Monday, June 20, 2022, Starfish Family Services will be closed for a day of commemoration.**

Juneteenth, short for June 19, is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. On June 19, 1865, Union soldiers, led by Major General Gordon Granger, arrived at Galveston, Texas, with news that the war had ended and that enslaved Americans were now free. This came two and a half years after President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation, which became official on January 1, 1863. (Source: https://www.juneteenth.com/history/)

On June 17, 2021, President Biden signed into law: S. 475, the “Juneteenth National Independence Day Act,” declaring June 19 as Juneteenth National Independence Day and a federal holiday. It was the first new federal holiday enacted since the establishment of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in 1983.

“Juneteenth (also known as Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, or Emancipation Day) is a day to honor and celebrate liberation. The holiday is all about celebrating Black culture, history and life, and bringing people together to honor all those who came before us and fought for the rights and privileges we hold today.” (Source: https://www.purewow.com/family/how-to-celebrate-juneteenth)

Juneteenth Events: Southeast Michigan

We’ve spotlighted several Juneteenth celebrations taking place across southeast Michigan. Click for an expansive list of events, compiled by Brendel Hightower, Detroit Free Press.

June 11-19: Juneteenth Detroit Festival. Visit juneteenthindetroit.com for a list of events scheduled throughout metro Detroit that include music, art, food and so much more.

June 15-22: Southfield Juneteenth Celebration. Music, dance performances, a 2.5-mile walk, children’s story time, special appearances from Black Cowboy L.C. Caldwell and Tuskegee Airmen, food, and games. Southfield Municipal campus, 26000 Evergreen Road.

June 17-19: Juneteenth Freedom Weekend. The City of Detroit, Metro Detroit Black Business Alliance, Detroit Branch NAACP, Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History, Juneteenth Jubilee, Detroit Means Business and Eastern Market Development Corporation have partnered for events such as the Rhythm and Art Block Party, the Juneteenth Jubilee Stroll Livernois Avenue of Fashion, and the Juneteenth Freedom Fest – Eastern Market Shed.

June 18-19: Juneteenth Jubilee Freedom Weekend

June 18, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.: The Charles H. Wright Museum will highlight the history of Juneteenth, an “Underground Railroad Treasure Hunt,” and black-owned businesses and job opportunities.
June 19, 3 p.m.: A concert at the museum entitled “Spirits Soar-Free!,” offering sights and sounds of musical performances from the 1860s to today.

June 18-19: Ypsilanti 2nd Annual Juneteenth Celebration. Hustle dance lessons, African dancers and drummers, poets, a jazz concert, comedy, and more at the parking lot behind Puffer Red’s, 107 Ferris St. in Ypsilanti.

Healing our children, community, ourselves

May 25, 2022 by Starfish Family Services

Over the last several weeks, our world and our emotions have been rocked again by inexplicable violence and the unfathomable killing of innocent children and adults in what should be safe places. Watching news reports, as well as hearing about these shootings, have the potential to activate a trauma response (especially fear or anxiety) in children, families, and the larger community.

There is no easy answer. No single remedy for healing. But, as dedicated champions for children and families, we have compiled strength-based tools from multiple trusted and respected sources. And, please, never forget that Starfish is here for you.

Methods for healing

High profile acts of violence, particularly in a school, can confuse and frighten children who may feel they’re in danger or worry that their friends or loved-ones are in jeopardy. This is true even if the incident didn’t occur locally. Children identify with other children regardless of location—which may trigger signs of anxiety. This is normal. If behaviors persist over time, professional help may be needed. (Source: American Psychological Association)

What to look for?

Sudden changes in behavior: Trouble sleeping, difficulty with concentrating on school work or home responsibilities, changes in appetite, and changes in mood.
Regression: Do they struggle with activities that have previously been mastered, such as tying shoes (for little ones).
Despondency: Are they isolating, having crying spells or unpredictable outbursts.

How can we support our children?

Children look to us for information, reassurance, and guidance about how to navigate their emotions in a healthy, safe, and productive way. The best thing we can do is listen. Listening to our children about their worries and concerns is the first step to help them begin to cope (Source: National Association of School Psychologists)

Make time to talk and listen to the concerns and feelings of children.
Use language and ideas that are age-appropriate and appropriate for each child’s needs.
Help your child to identify their feelings.
Reassure children they are safe and review safety procedures.
Create a sense of safety by returning to normal, predictable routines as soon as possible.
Limit the use of media consumption of violent events to lower their stress and to maintain balance and perspective.

Model healthy behavior

It’s natural to be anxious right now. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad. Children, however, pick up on what we say and do and take cues from us. So, first and foremost, care for yourself. Sometimes, just taking time to sit in our emotions is exactly what we need.

Get adequate sleep.
Set an example by turning off the television, radio, or social media.
Talk to other parents.
Go for a walk, embrace the healing benefits of nature.
Connect with your community.

Resources

Parent Guidelines for Helping Youth After the Recent Shooting (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
Helping Children Cope with Frightening News (Child Mind Institute)
Coping in the Aftermath of a Shooting (American Counseling Association)
The Virtual Wellness Center has resources and tools for parents and educators.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network provides resources that can be filtered by topic or keyword and by audience with a focus on how adults can identify traumatic responses in young people and how to support them.
Compilation of mental health resources for parents, students, and educators.